It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
