my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
