Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
there is another microwave in the elevator.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
