It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
