whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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