mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
And then my night got REAL pukey
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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