If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
