lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
