bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
