currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
