dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I got inside last night via doggy door
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
