erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
