i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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