I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
