this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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