I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
honey bunches of taint.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
