Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
