hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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