Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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