so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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