Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I had to cum in my sink.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
