She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
