if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
