i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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