and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
