I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Actions speak louder than pants.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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