Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
