Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Pants are for mortals
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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