The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
