Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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