Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
