oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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