Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
