"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
