she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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