She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize