also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize