I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
