these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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