We're like a lot better than the average bears
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize