I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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