like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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