happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
