After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
