Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
