Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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