i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
