How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
