Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
