people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
