idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
