butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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