his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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