So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
