New invention idea: vibrating tampons
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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