i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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