She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
