Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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