it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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